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Marriage Burst Ups

Muyiwa and Titi Osode: We gather that the marriage of ex Arhmadiya and ex academicals international footballer, Muyiwa Osode and Justice Titi (nee Ojikutu) has come a cropper. We are still nosing around for details.

Femi and Bab’s Daughter: Another one bites the dust. City playboy, Femi Young and Hilario Babs Akerele’s daughter have called it quits. We know the details but want to connect the dots with London fair skin lady and iconic Yoruba politician’s grandson. Got it? Watch out!

Celebrations in Island Club

  • Chief Olugbode celebrated his 52nd birthday recently in the Island Club with a fabulous and awesome party attended by the high and mighty assisted by his wife, Chief Mrs Sheri Olugbode.
  • Popular Island Club member and senior member of the Lagos Tinubu family, R. O. Tinubu celebrated his 72nd birthday party with popular Sakara Band, Omo Leftie, on bandstand. All the Big Boys including Kayode Tinubu, the head of the Tinubu family and his friends, the unpredictable, retired Customs officer, Bode Aboaba and Tunde Odunnaike (Isho) graced the occasion.
  • Immediate past Social Secretary of Island Club, Winsala of Badagry staged an outing party for his mother-in-law in the Club. Chairman and several top members of the Club were present including Chief Gbolahan Odeinde, Admiral Okanlawon Oni and Bolaji Mendes.

Get Well Soon

Professor Ajibade Rokosu, academician and humongous Lagos socialite, is said to be under the weather and is on admission at Lagos State University Teaching Hospital (LASUTH). Although he has just returned from Liberia after a 2-year lecturing stint in Biochemistry, the 73-year old is definitely not afflicted with Ebola but suspicion is that it could be due to some ailments in the throat as his speech is seriously impaired. The ex Gregorian is a member of Island Club, Ikoyi Club, Yoruba Tennis, Lagos Lawn Tennis Club and the Waka Club where he is the past Chairman and current Trustee.

Captain Carew Slaps Pilot Kamal

When we wrote recently that a prominent Island Club member and distinguished Nigerian personality was having trouble controlling his anger and was ever so querulous, we were called nosy parkers. When we published our story about Captain Carew ordering Brigadier General Dapo Tycchus around in Waka Club, we were called meddlesome interlopers. When we wrote that   Permanent Secretary Jibade Sekoni had tripped and bashed his head on a drainage concrete panel opposite the Waka Club, we were called busy bodies. When we informed you exclusively that Perm Sec Tola Animashaun had broken a bottle of Star beer on the head of gregarious businessman, Craig Ozeigbe, we were called amebos (rumour peddlers). Shall we count all our other exposés?

Afro King, Fela Kuti croons:

Ti Mba Roto, Ma So

O’le Panu Mi De…

(I Say it as I See It

You Can’t Gag me…)

Well, it has happened again, and this time not only furious but as ferocious as you can imagine. Following the incident of Captain Versus General, the Waka Club waded into the matter and an amicable settlement was reached. On Sunday, 12 October, 2014, the same Captain Abiodun Lisk-Carew got into an argument with popular socialite and airline pilot, Kamal Aromasodun which resulted in a slanging match. Retired army Captain Carew had insisted that the lady who accompanied Kamal’s lady friend to the Ileya (Id-El Kabir) dance of the Club should leave the Club premises. The lady, a bit on the fat side, Sharon, is the daughter of Liberian popular girl, Dada Scot of Maureen’s Kitchen firm. Dada Scot has recently been noticed in the company of insurance man and ex Ikoyi Club Chairman, Yanju Scot. Sharon had apparently had an argument with Benita, also a regular at Maureen’s Kitchen, and Carew, as the self-appointed Chairman of Maureen’s Kitchen, had ordered Sharon not to visit the Kitchen anymore, nay not to step on Towry Street at all. So, it was that when the Captain sighted Sharon in the Waka Club exterior, under the marquee, he barked out the marching orders to her. Peeved and feeling embarrassed, Kamal quickly, vociferously and stridently objected to this order and repeatedly retorted “but she’s my guest”. This seemed to infuriate Carew and his angst gave way to venom of vicious violence as he got up and gave Kamal an abrupt and heavy slap on the face close to Kamal’s right eye. This hulking ex soldier of over 6ft 4inches had delivered this coup de grace to the comparatively diminutive airline pilot’s face with such force that Kamal’s glasses fell off his eyes. Sadly, as it was learnt, Kamal had just returned from an overseas visit to the US and the UK where he had expended the neat sum of £30, 000 ($48, 000, N8m) on surgery to that eye. This event transpired in the presence of Club Chairman, Tunde Bajulaiye, Trustees, Biola Johnson, Kayode Tinubu, Arch Bishop Yemi Atilade, and Vice Chairman Yemi Randle. Kamal is the son of late popular Lagosian socialite, Ya Karim, who, in his lifetime, was noted for his no-holds-barred sarcastic tirade on very notable men of society like Ayo Shasanya, S. L. Edu, J. M. Johnson, Baba Ite Amidu, I. S. Adewale and many others. This egregious event further resulted in, as usual, several ladies laying it on each other with their tongues and ultimately resulted in Captain Carew calling on thugs from the neighbourhood to teach Kamal a lesson. When septuagenarian Deji Amidu intervened and chided the Captain for his bad behaviour, he was tongue-lashed and threatened with violence by the seemingly implacable ex Lagos Island Local Government Chairman, Biodun Carew. On the intervention of the Club Chairman, the thugs were sent packing but the problem again persisted and escalated when the sons of Club founder, late Pa Amidu, Debola and Femi, would not let sleeping dogs lie, conscripted their friends and other thugs to descend on Captain Carew. Again, the elders of the Club prevailed on all sides to desist from further actions and all frays were deescalated. Our reporter informs us that it was a generally nice and serene evening before and even after the incident with pleasurable enjoyment of the savoury dishes provided by the well-groomed and attired catering staff and immense justice was done to the cow that the Lagos State had donated to the Club for the Muslim festival. Notable figures also graced this joyful end of Ileya party including newlywed humongous socialite, Gabby Yarduah, a man of too many accolades, Kingsonian and true Lagosian, Bashorun Jaiye Randle and Mr Jawando.

Information reaching our Editorial Desk is that the Captain had continuously engaged in unnecessary and violent affrays including an attack on a mechanic on Towry Street and a vituperous and unsavoury incident against the person of the revered and elderly Onipopo of Popo, Dr Flash Macgregor of Campos area Clan. To keep the trajectory of the Waka Club on a fine fettle, it was learnt, the Chairman of the Club, Mr Tunde Bajulaiye, has suspended Captain Carew sine die from the Club until his infringement of the Club’s Constitution by assault on a fellow member is discussed at the next Executive Committee meeting, probably to be handed over to the Disciplinary Committee chaired by Hon. Bolaji Abosede with Wale Lawrence and Deji Amidu as members. We shall keep you informed of further developments.

Light-Skinned Ladies that Shook Lagos

Sir Victor Olaiya, a High Life music maestro croons:
“Omo Pupa o,
Omo Pupa Lawan’fe…” (“We love the light-skinned lady”).

Harry Belafonte, the iconic Calypso King, also serenades:
“Light-skinned girl, go home and mind baby
I’m going away on a sailing boat…”

But the indefatigable Afrobeat King, Fela Kuti, brazenly insinuates:
“You Dey Bleach o
You Dey Bleach…”

However, late sarcastic Juju music maestro and satirist, Ade Ade, disagrees and belches out:
“Asewo Ko Ni Soyoyo
Olaju Ni Soyoyo…”
 
(“Light-skinned ladies are not ladies of the night
Fashion behoves the lightening of the skin…”)

As elucidated above, opinions differ about attitudes to fair skin females. It is noteworthy that a simple test of nursery age black girls in the USA showed that they preferred a white human doll to a black human doll. It has been scientifically proven and further espoused and expostulated by Professor Kofi Duncan, the 80-year old oncologist and Senior Member of the Yoruba Tennis Club, in his interview on the Jimi Disu Discourse, that melanin or the effect of the ray of the sun is the only reason for the difference between black and white skin colours.

Several ladies in Lagos have had clear advantages over other ladies on account of their skin pallor. But why are they made out to be different from their sub-Saharan soul mates that they are juxtaposed with in tropical Africa? These are the basic reasons:

  • They are genetically of mixed race (“half-caste” is politically incorrect and taboo).

a) Some have clear and distinctive hotchpotch descent of Nigerians married to foreigners.
b) Others may be described as being of “son of a gun” (from the white sailors lower smoking guns) descent. It is rife tittle-tattle that some Itshekiri, Urhobo and Ijaw women from the Niger Delta of Nigeria do not feel consummated until a sailor’s gun fires a conceiving bullet. Tales abound of these young maidens swimming to ships at anchor in Niger Delta area of Escravos, Bonny, Abonema, Burutu and Dawes Island anchorage, awaiting High Water or daylight to proceed to Warri, Sapele or Port Harcourt river ports to berth. These young mermaids float alongside ocean-going vessels of Elder Dempster Line, Palm Lines and Niger Line shouting, “Dash me Joe” whereby they are clandestinely enabled to board the cargo boat under the pretentious watchful eyes of deck officers who generally turned blind eyes in anticipation of their own share of the lascivious flesh. The girls are lavished with “precious” gifts of soap tablets, tea and coffee for a return gift of their innocent “pleasantries”.
c) Some reddish light-skinned beauties have natural fair to brown skins and these are notably found in the Onitsha part of Eastern Nigeria.

  • They are genetically of albino descent.
  • They have used skin lighteners (bleached) to the detriment of their health as the substances are usually carcinogenic benignly or malignantly.

Because of the demand for such fair and skin-toned babes, many of them have created great impressions, held sway over dark-skinned girls and have generally been much more sought after than their soul sisters.

We list hereunder a compendium of such fair skin ladies that have blazed social trails in Lagos, even brazenly utilising their skin colour to enable their choice of the desired opposite sex. We take a historical and chronological insight into these ladies and their anecdotes of any dimension including pedigree dalliances and blissful nuptialities. We have not alluded to the reasons for their pallor in order not to besmirch many of them who display an arrogant air of bespoke and genealogical pedigree and dimension. The list follows:

1960-1970

Names                          Pedigree and Anecdotes

Helen Anthony – Holy Child, Oye, Aunty Maria
Marlies Ordia – Chief Abraham Ordia, Allen, A-Hall
Miss Nedd – Airline, Lynden, Culwyn
Nike Akande  – Minister, Adisa, Chris, Mexi,  Kolfag, Supo
Edak Antigha – Queens, Anakwe, Demola
Rita Finnih - Tarka, Daboh, Tolu
Grace Prest  -  Chief Arthur Prest, Mikaila, Roberts, Dapo,Coker-Dickens
Audrey Prest - Holy Child, Chief Arthur Prest, Yomi
Denrele Ogunsanya - Chief Adeniran Ogunsanya, Mexi, Abimbola,Sec. L. S. G.
Tokunbo Ogunsanya - Reagan Memorial
Enitan Akerele - Hon. Minister Akerele, Hilario B., Ladi,Karamba, IV. Coast, Funsho, Akinyosoyo,S. L. E.
Yuyin Audiferem - Agbo Abayomi, Ajidahun, Olagbaju,Yemisi, Davies, Petgrave, Lai
Loretta Audifferem (RIP) - Agbo Abayomi,Yinka,Tokunbo,Thomas, Nicol
Susan Akerele - Pilotu Akerele, Turie, Folabi, Babs
Aina Ajanlekoko - Celestial Ajanlekoko, Apapa Road, Giwa
Pamela Scott - Boyle Street, John
Abeni Dyson - London, Folivi, Laleye
Angela Onyeado - Business and Promotions, Silverbird,Tom, Stella Ojukwu, Abah, Yinka

1970-1980
Toyin Anthony (RIP) - Aunty Maria, Tom, Adesanya
Lola Roland - Feyi, Suzie, Nyland, Hassan, Farida
Lulu Ebosie - Sam, Jerry
Priscilla Soyemi - Dapo, Dele, Aishat
Yetunde Oki - Chief TAB Oki, Abraham, Shade
Justice Sade Oki - Chief TAB Oki, Coker
Carole Harper - London, Forsythe, David, Godwin,Barbara
Arisat Agusto - Lawyer Bashiru Agusto, Bash Junior
Toyin Monney (Miss Nigeria) - Lady Manuwa, Savage
Toyin Dosunmu - Justice Dosunmu, Tejuosho, Adeniyi-Williams, C. J. Ayo
Jean Thomas - Chief Bamole Thomas, Soji, Desalu, Osho
Deola Bamgbose - Savage, Funto, Yemi, Giwa, Vaughan,Adetigba, Olusanya
Felicia Bakare - Chief S. B. Bakare, Popson, Omotesho,Maureen
Dupe Gualin - Our Lady’s, Apapa Road, Philip
Maiden Ibru - Themamopoulos, Alex, Zulu, Babs,Kuboye
Felicia Koko-Bassey - Lebanese Mum, Raufu Williams Cr., Chike
Mrs Quarshie Williams - Koko-Bassey, Chief S. B. Williams,Fashanu
Anne Shoboyejo - Dr Shoboyejo, Karamba, Enitan, Hilario
Yvonne Edo - Solomon Boyo, Dapo, Henry, Benita, Bisi
Angela Da-Silva - H. E. Niyi Adebayo, Dapo, Ranti, Marie
Senator Daisy Omenai - Mrs Abebe, Eng. Omenai, Ranti,Danjuma
Miss Hamber - Olu Omotehinwa, Mama Cass, Jimmy,Onabowale
Mrs. Solomon Adeniyi-Williams - Chief Solomon of Calabar,Kole Adeniyi-Williams, Femi, Chief Ola Udoh
Pamela Mann - London, Peter, Hassan, Eric, Rita
“Iya” Coker - “Cousin” Coker, Catholic Mission Street,Jinmi Doherty, Tunde, Laide
Dr Oluwole-Akisanya - Dr Taiwo Oluwole, Nerina Doherty, Dr Gbadebo Akisanya, Mrs Braithwaite
Bimbo Roberts - DIG Roberts, Macaulay family, NTA,Channels TV, Oloyede, Edie Roberts
Mrs Abayomi Majekodumi - Magistrate Abayomi, Colonel Majekodumi, Yinka, Lanre, Tope, Omishade, Louise, Biola
Justice Doris Okuwobi - Holy Child, Sir Mobolaji Bank-Anthony, Prof. Olusola Okuwobi,Tee Mac
Lola Nelson-Cole - Biaduo Str; James, Michael, David,John, Clinton
Ronke Ayuba - NTA newscaster, Darley, General Ayuba, Tunde

1980-2000
Miss Finnih - Manchester, Rita, Tarka, Kehinde, Idowu
Kemi Adewunmi - Lawyer Adewunmi, Yeke, Shina, Alfa,Dapo, Jumoke, Wole, Tolu
Jennifer Benson - Chief TOS Benson, Tony, Bimbo,Adewunmi, Soji,
Sade Johnson (RIP) - Chief J. M. Johnson, Biola, Bimbo, Ronke,Kuku, Taiwo
Barbara Harper - Carole, Godwin, Dotun, Bode, Maureen,Folusho
Bola Martins - Braide, Odeinde, Seyi, Orlando, Lawunmi,Okoya, Giwa
Toun Kujore - Chief Kujore, Dapo, Oloye, Ruth, Oyewo, Ademide, Aziza, Comfort, Funlola
Towo Oshin   - Osun Commissioner, K. K. Shomade,Chevron, Sherifat, Ashabi
Ranti Johnson - Chief J. M. Johnson, Abah, Biola, Funmi, Dele, Bade, Bode
Tokunbo Olopade - Dr Olopade, Kunle, Williams, Supo, Atiku
Adunni Oshinusi - Kamal Oshinusi
Toun Oni - T. A. Oni, Tokunbo Adebiyi
Yemi Fawaz - Mr Fawaz
Tessy Ajose - Prof. Ajose, Ambassador, Oyediran, Kabaka
Elizabeth Nze  - NTA, Juli, Igbinedion
Kemi Ilori  - Justice Ilori, Shola, Toun, Dotun, Bobo
Yvette Macaulay -  Mr Ekow Macaulay, Frank, Deola, Sagoe, Goubadia, Baxter, Young, Tita, Yemi
Mrs Young - Hilario Babs Akerele, Femi Young, Oduwole, Awolowo, Ogunade
Helen Prest (Miss Nigeria) -  Chief Arthur Prest, Dr Ajayi, Sawyer, Finnih
Moji Awosika - Captain Kola Awosika, Bimbo, Sherifat, Comfort
Comfort Ipaye -  Iya Alaje Ipaye, Taju, Moji, Toun, Sherifat
Mami Ojukwu - Ojukwu Clan, Tom Bigger, Alfa, Okoya
Toyin Fagbayi - Chief M. A. Fagbayi, Olu, Bola, Nzeribe, Senator Gbenga

2000-2014
Fadeke Benson (RIP)  - Chief TOS Benson, Johnson, Cardoso, Lanre Folawiyo
Kehinde Oshinaike  -  Akure, Tope, Mohammed, Mummy K
Taiwo Oshinaike - Odofin, Ladi, Supo, Bola, Gbenga
Arc. Asuni - Professor Tolani Asuni, Demola Johnson, Kolade
Toyin Omotehinwa  - Navy Captain Olu Omotehinwa, Florence Hamber, Jimmy Hamber, Ndiomu, Pastor, Mama Cass
Louise -  Bacchus Club, Tilly, Chika

These are names that will be remembered in their sectoral days, the light-skinned ravers and shakers of Lagos society. A well-known caveat is given in a song which goes thus:

“When you are in love
With a beautiful woman
You know it’s hard
Everybody wants her
Everybody loves her…”

-Dr Hook

So, be warned because beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and fair skin girls, even some that are scruffy, are regarded as beautiful and angelic.  We bet that you know a few more. Feel free to oblige us. Add to comment or send email.

Competition (Win N5, 000 Free Telephone Airtime Credit)
Could you name the two beauties from the list above who are identical twins? Text us your answer with N100 Airtel Credit to 08088069414 and the first winning entry shall be credited with N5, 000 by phone airtime.

*Entry closes on 24th October, 2014